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happy holidays america

December 18, 2014

Well its been about Five years since I have last celebrated, Xmas in America or thanksgiving, or any other Holiday for that matter.

Its funny to see that black Friday is still a thing and its still a thing people trample,beat,or kill each other over in either case fuck going to any store on that day, 25% off a fucking jacket is not worth being stuck in the closest thing resembling a human cesspool of greed and misery at 5am to whatever time the human hyenas are done with the carcasses of retail employees.

Eating a big ass turkey and drinking myself stupid with old friends was fun. Until we had too much tequila and started puking out said turkey onto the side walk or bathroom floor.

Stuffing is still a thing and it always will be though, cant figure out why it is a thing and if any one truly enjoys it. seriously did some one just shove random shit into the cavity of a large fowl and them thought it was a good idea to eat said contents? I would like to imagine some guy or woman many years ago is in a kitchen. looks at the gaping fucking hole in the turkey’s back side and said ” you what this fucking needs!? It needs my mother fucking fist up this motherfucker and I need to cram this bitch full of bread and herbs! Then when I am done fist fucking  the poultry we are going to consume the after math!”
Instead of calling the cops on said person or stopping them everyone though it was a good idea, and then became a tradition. At least that is how i think it happened, and i f i truly believe hard enough and repeat it enough times it might become true, or at least a flimsy urban legend that stupid people will believe on occasion.

Any way its almost Christmas time. Which means it is time to put on a Santa outfit and get wasted on egg nog. maybe blasting the Xmas classic of Christmas in Compton (voted best Christmas carol by the Times,New Yorker, Jet magazine, and the international association of gangsta ass Xmas music) and then yelling ho ho ho at all the skanky women, because isn’t that what Xmas is all about?

Any ladies and gentlemen I got a big ass turkey I have to fist fuck for Christmas and it is not going to fist fuck it’s self.

Happy Holidays

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